Soak Me In Red Wine

I apologize for my absence. I've been dreaming of sausages. Wine-soaked, peppery, smoky, savory, crackly, juicy and perfectly charred. 

Biting into a Cypriot sausage (loukaniko) ranks third in my makeshift list of The Rock's Top Ten Greatest Contributions to Mankind, a handful of miles behind halloumi and light years away from The Wife, Ph.D., who—goes without saying—is number one with a bullet. Rounding out the list, in no particular order, are flaounes, Commandaria, the painted churches of Troodos, sheftalies, feral cats of all shapes and freaky sizes, Cypriot halva and whomever invented halloumi. Trust me, if I were dictator of this land, I'd build the latter the flashiest of pantheons, a place where all of us converts can render tribute to the cheese that grills and pray for its sales to skyrocket before we are flushed down the financial toilet handcuffed to Europe's petulant child, Greece.

Anyhow, back to the wine-soaked edible phallus. Like a meth addict, I contract the services of a loukaniko dealer. Return On Investment (R.O.I.), who runs a slaughterhouse that provides sausage casings to local butchers, often brings me some from Katidata, a village at the foothills of the Trodoos mountains and home to what I believe is The Rock's best sausage. As of today, I must have at least twenty Katidata sausages sitting in my freezer waiting to be devoured with some toasted pitta bread, a slight comfort with homo-eroticism and a side of extra-strength Pepto-Bismol.

Every so often, I share them with my fancy friends so that they too experience the high. This time around, we gathered at The Brother-in-Law's, where Double Trouble, The Wife, Ph.D., Cousin #2 and Radio Free Cyprus, helped me dispose of the links. Initially, I had planned a blind wine tasting but that quickly devolved into a sampling of a wide array of sausages. If you will, Katidata versus German bratwursts and weisswursts procured from our deli of choice, Bavarian Delicatessen. 

What's the German word for "routed"?

2009 Argyrides Cabernet Sauvignon Merlot - Lovely bouquet of red fruit, spice and dust. On the mouth, red fruit like candied dark cherries and some herbal components in a very fruit-forward wine. Good tannins, balanced, full and quite long. 90/100.

2007 Kalamos Gerani Maratheftiko - Burgundy-like in color and drank surprisingly like a Pinot Noir. Oak-y, herbaceous, good red fruit. Savory mid-palate component. Balanced and silky smooth. Unanimously voted the best wine of the night. 92/100.

2004 Vouni Panagia Barba Yiannis Maratheftiko - Cloves, cinnamon and red fruit on the exceptional nose. Blueberry-like dark fruit, violets, vanilla and chocolate flavors to the tongue. Nice menthol finish. 88/100.