I Fought The Law And The Law Won

I should have done this back in May when this blog still required diaper changes, mushy pea compotes, countless hours of interrupted zzzzzzzz's and the occasional breastfeeding from The Wife, Ph.D. I never defined Whine On The Rock's parameters, which, granted, up until now has been a positive thing since it has allowed me to go off on tangential rants and taste mainland wines. But for the sake of professionalism and the establishment of some vague resemblance of a niche for my blog, I am forcing myself to do so now. Ironically enough, while I sit here trying to straighten my life's work, The Clash is blasting revolutionary rhetoric through my headphones.

"What is an island?" The question first popped up when The Wife, Ph.D., and I were discussing whether or not to include Australia in our list of approved islands. Since my middle brother, Koala B, his partner Kangaroo Jo, and their the-GAP-baby-model son Sebas call Melbourne home, it only made sense to label Australia an island. Albeit, after having done some research, I have recently reached the unanimous conclusion that Australia, given its massive continental size and the wise words of several Internet geography experts, cannot be deemed "a tract of land completely surrounded by water, and not large enough to be called a continent." Of course, my decision does not preclude this blog from covering Tasmania with its up-and-coming Chardonnays, Pinot Noirs and Rieslings or Kangaroo Island off the coast of Adelaide and its Bordeaux-style blends. So let's just say that thanks to this investigative exercise I have significantly shrunk the scope of my hobby work and saved The Wife, Ph.D., thousands of Euros for that elusive case of Penfolds Grange.

Without further ado, the first (and probably final) draft of the Whine On The Rocks Approved Wine Island List:

1. Cyprus (a.k.a. The Rock, Alcatraz, Home, Center of the Universe)

2. The United Kingdom (primarily England and Wales and their fizz)

3. Corsica, France

4. Ile de Porquerolles, Cotes de Provence, France

5. Sardinia, Italy

6. Sicily, Italy

7. Isola d'Elba, Italy

8. Mallorca, Spain

9. Islas Canarias, Spain

10. Madeira, Portugal

11. Santorini, Greece (which will receive tons of attention thanks to their gorgeous Assyrtiko)

12. Crete, Greece (a shout-out to Double Trouble!)

13. Rhodes, Greece

14. Paros, Greece

15. Samos, Greece

16. Kefallonia, Greece

17. Zakinthos, Greece

18. Limnos, Greece

19. Corfu (Kerkira), Greece

20. Euboea (Evia), Greece

21. Lesbos, Greece

22. The remaining 215+ inhabited Greek rocks

23. Tasmania, Australia

24. Kangaroo Island, Australia

25. New Zealand (this blog's final mission)

26. Japan (anyone for sake bombs with Koshu wine instead of beer?)

27. Cape Verde (wine tasting with Cesaria Evora crooning in the background)

28. Bali, Indonesia (Wine and world-class surf? I'm there!)

29. Switzerland (as an island of neutrality within the EU and home to my friends, the Lion Pool family)

30. Malta

Obviously, this is a work-in-progress so if you have any edits or suggestions, holler. But, for the most part, I see myself sacrificing ninety-five percent of my liver, sanity and paunch to Cyprus, Santorini, Sicily, the Australian islands and New Zealand.